We’re in a season of grief and trauma, but loss certainly isn’t new. Humans have always looked for ways to find comfort, ease the pain, and restore hope through the natural world. Thankfully, our community has always been such a sweet place, where we grieve together and hope together.
We get lots of questions about which essential oils and crystals to use for grief and trauma, and we wanted to help.
In this post, we’ve gathered:
- Essential oils to use for grief & trauma
- How to use essential oils for grief & trauma
- Crystals to use for grief & trauma
- How to use crystals for grief & trauma
- How to support somebody who is grieving or going through a difficult time
- Recipe blends you can use to help support grief & trauma
Before we start, we want to acknowledge a few things. First, grief is part of life, and it never really ends. To love somebody is to grieve. Your life will grow bigger, but you don’t ever have to put a time limit on your grief.
Grief isn’t linear, either. It has highs and lows, and can reappear unexpectedly.
Finally, whether your grief feels overwhelming or you feel like you should be able to manage it yourself, getting help from a counselor or therapist is a really great thing. The oils and crystals we’ve listed below can help, but please get help if you need (or just want!) it.
Essential Oils for Grief & Trauma
If you’ve ever had a mug of tea when you feel sad, you’ll understand how powerful plants are. Aromatherapy and herbalism is ancient. Before modern medicine, it was how people healed, supported, and comforted themselves.
To say the following herbs have a long history of bringing comfort and support to the grieving is an understatement!
We hope this is a comfort to you as you read this list–you’re not alone in your pain.
1. Melissa
Melissa essential oil comes from a plant called lemon balm, a mint-like plant that was used in ancient Iran and many other cultures and traditions. The oil has been shown in studies to help improve depression, anxiety, and cognition, and may also help with everything from insomnia to diabetes to migraines.
Melissa oil has antidepressant properties, and may also be uplifting. If you feel buried or smothered in your grief or sadness, this may be a good oil to help you regain some emotional balance.
2. Chamomile
Melissa oil is very expensive, but chamomile oil is the opposite–so affordable!
The chamomile plant grows cheerful white and yellow daisies, a nod to how gentle and soothing chamomile oil can be. It’s also great for stress relief, anxiety release, and insomnia or difficulty sleeping, if any of those symptoms accompany your grief.
3. Rose
Rose is a really beautiful oil that helps unlock the heart chakra. It’s a mothering oil, and can help you nurture and mother your own self gently and patiently; it’s also been used to help calm symptoms of PTSD (but don’t overdo it).
Rose is an oil to reach for if you’re overcome with fear of being alone. Rose oil can remind you of your beauty and strength, even in difficult times.
4. Frankincense
Frankincense is powerful. Like myrrh and sandalwood, it’s deeply spiritual and has been used since ancient times. It’s very grounding, and can also help balance roller-coaster emotions, and help you find spiritual peace, if that’s what you’re craving.
Frankincense is another great oil to reach for if you’re struggling with sleep.
5. Lavender
We love lavender in our community! It’s a common oil, it blends well with other oils, and most people enjoy the scent if used in moderation.
Lavender, like frankincense, has so many uses. It’s been shown to have a calming, soothing effect on people in hospitals suffering from pain, and it can also help decrease anxiety and stress–all of which can intensify during times of grief and loss. Lavender is also extremely gentle on the skin.
6. Ylang Ylang
Like frankincense, ylang ylang is very powerful and has a very wide variety of uses. While frankincense is spicier and darker, you might think of ylang ylang as more floral and feminine.
It’s a mood-lifting, anxiety-decreasing oil that may help you reconnect to your physical self if you’ve felt disconnected by sadness and trauma.
7. Myrrh
In ancient Hebrew culture, myrrh was an annointing oil that represented death, something that was just as real and present for people then as it is for us, now. As a spiritual oil, myrrh can help you face and confront your fears about death, and find deep acceptance and peace in the loss you’ve suffered.
8. Marjoram
In ancient mythology, marjoram was created by Aphrodite, goddess of love, and it makes sense that suffering people would turn towards this essential oil as a symbol of happiness, peace, and harmony.
Marjoram can help with digestive problems, headaches, and heart suffering, all of which can be brought on by trauma or shock. The oil brings kindness, a nurturing sense, and gentleness to somebody who is grieving or suffering
9. Cypress
In ancient times, cypress trees have represented both mourning and death, and everlasting life. This ancient wisdom points to the oil’s suitability for mourning and grief. Cypress can help you release a painful sense of loss and ease feelings of emptiness or loneliness.
How to Use Essential Oils for Grief & Trauma
There are as many ways to use essential oils for grief and trauma as there are essential oils! There’s no “best” or “perfect” way; in fact, let your body’s intuition lead you toward what you need.
Here are a few ways to use with essential oils:
- Create your own recipe in a roller bottle (you can use a single oil, or one of our recipes below) and roll over your heart, on the inside of your wrists, or at the base of your neck or spine throughout the day when you need support or comfort
- Self massage with a single oil mixed with a carrier oil, or with one of the recipes below
- Diffuse in a diffuser
- Use with crystals
- Drop a few drops of oil on your hands, rub together, and inhale deeply several times as you cup your hands to your face. You can follow this by wrapping your arms around yourself in a gentle hug.
- A bath with epsom salts and several drops of oil
- Wear a diffusing bracelet
To use essential oils topically or in a roller bottle, dilute with a carrier oil like fractionated coconut oil, jojoba oil, or sweet almond oil. You can use this chart to determine how many drops to use:
To make your own diffuser blend, we recommend using 3-5 drops of oil per 100ml (or your manufacturer’s instructions!).
Crystals for Grief & Trauma
We love using essential oils and we love using crystals–but we especially love using them together. You can find out more in this guide, but we’ve already included some helpful information below.
Here are our favorite crystals for grief and trauma:
1. Rhodonite
Rhodonite crystal is a really beautiful deep red or pinkish crystal with dark brown or almost black striations. It’s color gives us a clue about its purpose: it’s a heart stone.
Rhodonite is excellent at helping to heal emotional wounds and past traumas (we’ve included it in several blends in Beyond Lavender). It helps with processing emotional wounds so that you can release negative behaviors like resentment or bitterness.
2. Black Onyx
Black onyx may help with grief and decision making, as well as self-control and taking charge, all of which can suffer during difficult times.
Onyx blocks negative energy, but not by numbing or canceling out your loss. Instead, onyx helps you to find the emotional strength and stamina you need to face the darkness of grief or trauma, so that you can find the peace and acceptance you need.
3. Smoky Quartz
Another dark stone, smoky quartz also helps to block negative energy. It’s also detoxifying, and helps to settle fears. If you’re experiencing a great deal of emotions that you’re having trouble expressing or releasing, smoky quartz can help with that.
4. Pink Lemurian
Pink lemurian crystals is a type of quartz that releases unconditional love. It’s a stone of feminine energy, and is a popular choice for use during meditation because it can help with spiritual awareness.
If you’ve experienced a loss as a mother, pink lemurian is a beautiful, healing stone to reach for, as it can help you nurture your deep love while letting go of guilt or shame.
5. Pink Opal
Pink opal is also a feminine energy stone, and as such, it helps to bring about renewal and emotional balance. Pink opal can be extremely calming and soothing, and connects deeply to the heart chakra.
Where your pain makes you want to pull back and seal yourself off from love, pink opal can help you find resolution so that you can continue to experience love.
6. Moonstone (& Rainbow Moonstone)
Moonstone and rainbow moonstone can help you connect with the gentle, renewing power of the moon. Like a light in the darkness, so moonstone can help provide a sense that you will not be crushed by your grief. Moonstone brings insight and assists during change and transition.
7. Rose Quartz
Rose quartz is the ultimate love stone. Like pink opal, it can help you find emotional harmony and resolution and healing, so that you can be free to love yourself and others.
Rose quartz can enhance your sense of love for others, but it can also help you love yourself, forgive yourself, and trust yourself. It can remind you that you hurt because you love, and give your pain purpose and meaning.
8. Amazonite
Amazonite is a deeply soothing crystal that helps you release negative energy. It’s an especially good stone for helping you deal with emotional trauma, worry, and fear, and can help you remind yourself that you are safe in yourself.
Amazonite’s beautiful blue-green depths are reminders of the sun’s gentle warmth, and that joy will come again.
How to Use Crystals for Grief & Trauma
We have a lot more information about using crystals here, but here are some ways to get started with the crystals we’ve listed above:
- Use them with essential oils in a roller bottle like this or this
- Hold your crystal and breathe deeply for 60 seconds. Do this whenever you’re in need of support or comfort.
- Place your crystals wherever you spend lots of time–at your desk or by your nightstand, for example (or place them by your diffuser)
- Wear your crystals, or place a small one in your pocket to hold whenever you feel sad or overwhelmed
How to Support Somebody Who is Grieving or Going Through a Difficult Time
If somebody you love is grieving, here are some things to keep in mind:
- Don’t try to tell your friend how to grieve, what to do, or how to “move on” or “get over it”
- Focus on supporting and listening, and being there when you’re needed
- If you’re in doubt, you can ask, “would you like comfort, or would you like solutions?”
- Expect grief to be a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs
- Grief sometimes comes with anger, bitterness, or other “negative” feelings–this is normal and ok
- Don’t expect your friend’s grief to ever end; their lives may become full and rich again, but they’ll never forget their loss
- Say the name of the person your friend lost! There’s no need to act like it didn’t happen or that person never existed.
Recipe Blends for Grief & Trauma
Sleep in Peace
10ml Roller Bottle Blend
- 10 drops lavender
- 5 drops frankincense
- 5 drops cypress
Diffuser Blend (per 100ml)
- 3 drops lavender
- 1 drop frankincense
- 1 drop cypress
Pair with rose quartz.
Trust the Process
10ml Roller Bottle Blend
- 7 drops fir
- 5 drops bergamot
- 5 drops frankincense
- 3 drops ylang ylang
Diffuser Blend (per 100ml)
- 2 drops fir
- 1 drop bergamot
- 1 drop frankincense
- 1 drop ylang ylang
Pair with clear quartz.
Gentle Renewal
10ml Roller Bottle Blend
- 10 drops lavender
- 5 drops melissa
- 5 drops marjoram
Diffuser Blend (per 100ml)
- 3 drops lavender
- 1 drop melissa
- 1 drop marjoram
Pair with pink lemurian or pink opal.
Spiritual Release
10ml Roller Bottle Blend
- 7 drops frankincense
- 5 drops ylang ylang
- 2 drops myrrh
Diffuser Blend (per 100ml)
- 3 drops frankincense
- 1 drop ylang ylang
- 1 drop myrrh
Pair with smoky quartz.
Gentle Grief Support
10ml Roller Bottle Blend
- 8 drops chamomile
- 8 drops lavender
- 4 drops rose (optional)
Diffuser Blend (per 100ml)
- 2 drops chamomile
- 2 drops lavender
- 1 drop rose (optional)
Pair with amazonite or rose quartz.
