The Ultimate (Fun) Guide to Essential Oils & Libido: Increasing Arousal, Romance, and Intimacy Naturally!

Our recent podcast episode with Lucy Libido was a huge hit, and we totally understand why! 

Libido and all things sex can feel really scary to talk about, but the truth is, sexual health impacts ALL of us. And learning to use essential oils to address things like low libido and lack of intimacy can make a huge difference in your relationship! 

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Definitely go take a listen to the podcast (and grab Lucy Libido’s hilarious and super helpful book while you’re at it), but in the meantime, we’re going to cover a ton of valuable information on using essential oils for libido. 

Here’s what we’ll cover: 

So much juicy detail, so little time! Let’s go! 

Before You Start: What You Need to Know About Libido 

Libido is endlessly complicated but essential oils are natural, non-toxic, and often have ancient histories of helping people with all kinds of health ailments (after all, what did people do before modern medicine?!). 

Libido is a complex and changing thing. 

It’s not a single factor; instead, it’s influenced and impacted by everything from trauma, diet, health (physical and mental), sleep, stress, self-awareness and self-acceptance, how a person feels inside of their relationship with the other person, and so much more. 

What’s great about essential oils is that they can help address all of those things. 

Another thing to understand and note about libido is that there’s not some gold standard! Hollywood sort of makes us think that everybody should have raging sex drives all of the time, and if that’s you that’s great! 

But that’s not every person, and that’s not every couple. Your libido needs to work for you. If you’re happy with it, it doesn’t matter what Hollywood says or how often your BFF and her partner are doing it. 

 What matters is that it’s working for you, in whatever season of life you find yourself. Just like everything else, sex drive waxes and wanes, and that’s great! 

That said, you’re probably here because your libido isn’t working for you, so let’s address that!! 

Here’s how to use essential oils in the bedroom for romance, passion, and overall sexual health:

What are the Best Essential Oils for Low Libido in Women? 

We’ve heard so many great success stories from women using essential oils for low libido! The truth is, libido that’s lower than you’d like it to be can be caused by many factors: 

  • Poor sleep (not enough sleep, or waking often) 
  • Stress and anxiety 
  • Grief and trauma 
  • Poor mental health 
  • Hormonal factors like painful periods, hot flashes, menopause, etc. 
  • Low progesterone or other hormonal imbalances 
  • Low energy 
  • Medication 
  • Dryness 
  • Emotional disconnection from your partner 
  • Abuse in your relationship 

You can learn more about how Lucy Libido uses Young Living’s Progesterone Plus to handle low progesterone here, and we have a whole article about using essential oils for sleep, and another about using essential oils (and crystals!) for stress and anxiety

But, there are a whole range of essential oils that can help directly with arousal, or help with some of the issues that are causing low libido (or both!). 

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We should note, however, that there’s no substitute (and absolutely no shame in) seeing a doctor and/or a therapist to get help. 

You might want to work through trauma, focus on improving your mental health, address underlying health problems like low energy, or find a trusted guide to help you work through relationship issues so that you can grow feelings of intimacy in your relationship. And you can definitely do all these things alongside of essential oils!   

Also, if you suspect you’re a victim of domestic abuse, or would like to learn more, you can click here

Here are the essential oils we love to recommend for low libido in women:      

  • Clary sage 
  • Lavender 
  • Ylang ylang 
  • Sandalwood 
  • Cardamom 
  • Neroli 
  • Jasmine 
  • Rose 
  • Bergamot 
  • Wild orange and/or lime 
  • Peppermint  
  • Geranium 

1. Clary Sage

Clary sage is the ultimate woman’s oil because of how effectively it addresses problems like painful periods and hormonal upsets. 

It can be especially helpful for female lubrication (it acts as a natural instigator/female lubricant). It’s a great choice if you suspect your low libido is tied to problems with your cycle, and it’s an oil you can reach for when the moment calls, or use it regularly throughout the day. 

2. Lavender 

Lavender may, in fact, actually be good for everything! Seriously though, it helps tremendously with stress, anxiety, racing thoughts, and relaxation. Lavender may also help with menstrual pain (or any kind of pain) and can help reduce hot flashes due to hormonal changes (ie, during menopause). 

It’s also a very gentle oil, and if you have sensitive skin, it’s a great place to start. 

3. Ylang Ylang 

Flowers from the ylang ylang tree are used in Asian on honeymoon beds as a nod to their aphrodisiac properties (for women and men). It’s worth noting that ylang ylang has also been found to help with self-confidence, which can go a long way in the bedroom. Learn more about ylang ylang here

4. Sandalwood 

Sandalwood may increase love and desire when inhaled (in both men and women). It’s also known for being a spiritual oil and may help you and your lover connect more deeply, which can increase libido and/or lead to a better sexual experience for both of you. It makes a great choice for a massage oil and in an arousing diffuser blend. 

5. Cardamom 

Cardamom is a warming oil, which means it can increase blood flow (a good thing for both libido and sex). It’s also known for being able to relieve painful cycle symptoms, something worth noting if your cycle is negatively impacting your sex life! 

6. Neroli 

Neroli does two things that are helpful for libido: it decreases your body’s cortisol levels (the stress hormone) and it may improve the symptoms of menopause (including dryness, low libido, etc.), which can wreak havoc on a woman’s sex life. Many people also believe its floral scent is arousing. 

7. Jasmine 

Jasmine has a reputation as a woman’s oil, but it may also be able to help with things like anxiety and depression, even if you’re high-functioning. Use this oil to help you connect to your femininity and release self-doubts about yourself or your appearance. 

8. Rose

Red roses are associated historically with romance and passion, so it makes sense that rose essential oil would be great for low libido in women! Rose essential oil is also great for balancing hormones, especially for menopausal women and women going through pregnancy, labor, and birth, and it works as a natural aphrodisiac. 

9. Bergamot 

Bergamot is a citrus oil that’s energizing and focusing. If you’re having trouble getting in the mood because your mind is all over the place, bergamot can help calm and soothe your thoughts. Bergamot also pairs well with woodsy, forestry oils (that can help with his arousal) like cypress and spruce. 

10.Wild Orange and/or Lime 

Wild orange and/or lime, like bergamot, are citrus oils that are highly energizing. If you’re struggling with feelings of sluggishness or disinterest, wild orange or lime can be like a little happy pill/dose of sunshine! 

11. Peppermint 

Peppermint creates a cooling, tingling sensation on the skin, so it’s a popular choice when it comes to making things more exciting in the bedroom! Coincidentally, it’s also a focusing, energizing oil. 

12. Geranium 

One recent review found a combination of lavender, fennel, geranium, rose, and neroli helped improve participant’s arousal and sexual desire. Geranium, in fact, may help with hormonal imbalances, including hormone-caused depression or anxiety, and it may influence hormonal secretions in women, making sex more pleasant. 

What Essential Oils are the Best for Low Libido and Erectile Dysfunction in Men? 

Men and women can both suffer from sexual dysfunction. In fact, many doctors say both low libido and erectile dysfunction are on the rise for men. 

Luckily, there’s an oil for that! And most of the oils below work great in sensual essential oil blends. 

Like sexual function in women, low libido and ED in men can be attributed to a variety of things (including mental health, trauma, physical health, difficulty sleeping, stress and anxiety, etc.), and these oils can help with both the cause of low libido and arousal:

  • Idaho blue spruce (or blue cypress, or balsam fir) 
  • Nutmeg 
  • Fennel 
  • Aniseed 
  • Ginseng 
  • Cinnamon 
  • Patchouli 
  • Vetiver 
  • Sandalwood 
  • Ylang ylang 
  • Rose 
  • Lavender 

1. Idaho Blue Spruce 

Idaho blue spruce is one of Lucy Libido’s favorite recommendations for essential oils for men. It helps support healthy testosterone levels (blue cypress and balsam fir are similar alternatives). Idaho blue spruce may also be able to help him maintain an erection. 

2. Nutmeg 

Nutmeg essential oil is another Lucy Libido recommendation. She points out how similar it is to caffeine, in that it stimulates the adrenals and increases sexual energy. It may also help with healthy vasodilation, which is vital for maintaining strong erections.    

3. Fennel and Aniseed 

Fennel and aniseed are two other essential oils that are great to reach for. They contain chemicals similar to dopamine, adrenaline, and noradrenaline, a combination of chemicals that can help improve sexual function and arousal for men. 

4. Ginseng 

Ginseng has been used traditionally to treat erectile dysfunction and is still a great option for treating ED today in men. Scientists believe it may, like fennel and aniseed, help the brain release the right cocktail of chemicals to result in a better sexual experience.  

5. Cinnamon 

Cinnamon is both warming and stimulating, which means it can both help to increase blood flow (important) and help with energy for arousal (also important). It may even be able to help increase the weight of the testes and seminal vesicles, and could positively increase sperm count and testosterone. Talk about a super oil!

Less is more with cinnamon; dilute it heavily with a carrier oil and keep it out of sensitive areas! 

6. Patchouli 

Patchouli is a terrific arousal oil. It’s considered to be very sensual as well as grounding; it’s a popular essential oil to reach for, for spiritual reasons, and many people also find its woodsy aroma to be quite arousing. It’s a great oil to enhance spiritual and sexual connection between two people. 

7. Vetiver 

Vetiver has been found to have a strong, refreshing effect on people, both in terms of mental stamina and energy. If you suspect your low libido is related to mental exhaustion or mental stress, vetiver is a good oil to reach for. It’s also often considered a more masculine scent, which can make it a great choice for diffusing in the bedroom!

8. Sandalwood 

Sandalwood has a great musky scent that has been shown to increase feelings of love and desire (#scienceforthewin). Because of how it helps people connect emotionally and spiritually, it can help men overcome insecurities or fears in the bedroom, and help you both connect more deeply to each other for a better overall experience.

9. Ylang Ylang, Rose, & Lavender 

Ylang ylang, rose, and lavender are used for low libido, arousal, and stress in women, but they can serve similar roles for men. 

Ylang ylang’s abilities to help with depression and a sense of well-being are well-documented, while lavender’s impact on stress levels and anxiety have also been well-studied. 

Rose essential oil increases libido in women and men, and may even enhance sperm and testosterone production, and improve sperm quality. Flowers oils for the win!   

Can Essential Oils be Used as Lube? 

There are TONS of different ways to use essential oils for libido, but one of the best ways is to use them to make your own natural lubricant. 

This book is one of our favorites. It’s FILLED with recipes for using essential oils for libido, and our go-to for finding recipes to use essential oils as lube. 

What is the Best Massage Oil for Couples? 

Massage oils made with essential oils is great for enhancing libido, stimulating arousal, and just having fun! 

You can use any kind of food-grade oil as the base/carrier oil for massage (we recommend food grade for…um…hopefully obvious reasons) and high-quality essential oils (any combination of the oils listed above)! 

Be cautious about using massage oil on genitals, as some oils may irritate sensitive places (always do a spot test on your forearm 24 hours before using essential oils for the first time!). Also be aware that using some oils, like coconut oil, may decrease the efficacy of condoms. Heads up! 

How to Make Your Own Massage Oil 

We highly recommend making massage oil blends in dropper bottles; this is not a time to be fumbling around with different essential oil bottles and trying to remember how much to dilute each one! 

Our favorite carrier oils are: 

  • Sweet almond oil 
  • Fractionated coconut oil
  • Olive oil 
  • Jojoba oil 
  • Vitamin E oil 

…or any combination of the above. 

Our Dilution Chart for DIY Massage Oils with Essential Oils 

When it comes to adding your essential oils, a little goes a long way. 

Use 2-4 drops of essential oils per teaspoon of carrier oil to make a massage blend. 

You can use any combination of essential oils from the essential oils for libido list above! 

Carrier OilEssential Oil Drops 
10mL (2 teaspoons) 4-8 drops 
15mL (3 teaspoons)6-12 drops 
20mL (4 teaspoons) 8-16 drops 
1oz (30mL) 12-24 drops 

To make your own blend, just add your essential oils to your dropper bottle, and then fill with your carrier oil. Add the lid, roll or shake gently, and keep by your nightstand. 

Here’s How to Make Your Own Intimacy Roller Bottle with Essential Oils  

We LOVE using essential oils in roller bottles because they’re so convenient, and make using essential oils so EASY! 

A lot of the oils in this article can be (and should be!) used regularly, not just in bed. We know from experience that keeping roller bottles around and ready to go means you’ll actually use them. 

And the more you use essential oils, the better they work! 

To make a roller bottle, just add your essential oils to the bottle, then fill with a carrier oil (our favorite is fractionated coconut oil, but you could also use jojoba or almond oil). 

After you’ve added carrier oil, press the top on and gently roll or shake your bottle, and place it in your nightstand, by your bathroom sink, in your purse…wherever you’ll see it and use it.  (Here’s a quick video on how to make a roller bottle!)

You can roll your blend in these places:

  • The inside of your thighs
  • Your abdomen 
  • The base of your spine 
  • The back of your neck 
  • Your neck (like perfume)
  • The inside of your wrists
  • The inside of your ankles 

Or wherever else you feel like it! 

Here’s how to dilute essential oils for a roller bottle blend: 

Essential Oil Diffuser Recipes for Romance  

Essential oil blends are incredible aphrodisiacs. Aromatherapy is extremely powerful; science even suggests that women may choose mates based on how they smell! 

You can make up your own diffuser blends and store in dropper bottles right next to your diffuser. 

Here Are Some Other Ways to Use Your Essential Oils for Love Making

  • Make your own linen spray with your favorite essential oils for diffusing, and gently spray your sheets and/or the room 
  • Use a few drops of your favorite recipe or oil in a bath 
  • Add a drop or two in your hands, rub your hands together, then open your palms in front of your face and inhale deeply

The Best DIY Essential Oil Recipes for Libido! 

Love Potion #9 

This spicy-sweet combo brings passion and excitement; use as a massage oil, in a roller bottle, or as a diffuser blend. 

  • 2 drops ylang ylang 
  • 1 drop bergamot 
  • 1 drop peppermint 

Lady’s Night 

These oils support her with a strong sense of emotional well-being, relaxation, and peace. 

  • 2 drops clary sage 
  • 1 drop lavender 
  • 1 drop sandalwood 


This is a powerful combo of super oils that will do wonders for your libido! 

  • 1 drop geranium 
  • 1 drop orange 
  • 1 drop lavender 
  • 1 drop ylang ylang 
  • 1 drop patchouli 
  • 1 drop lime 
  • 1 drop cinnamon 

Stand at Attention 

This blend is a confidence-booster! Use it as a massage oil for *cough* you know where…😉

  • 1 drop Idaho blue spruce (or blue cypress, or balsam fir)
  • 1 drop nutmeg 
  • 1 drop ginseng 
  • 1 drop fennel 
  • 1 drop aniseed 
  • 1 drop cinnamon 

Romance is on the Rise 

A gorgeous blend of oils for him and her!

  • 1 drop ylang ylang 
  • 1 drop sandalwood 
  • 1 drop bergamot 
  • 1 drop ginger
  • 1 drop lime 
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Essential oils and better libido are a match made in heaven… make sure you pin this post for later and/or share it with a friend! Enjoy! 

I'm Haylee!

Haylee is the CEO of Whimsy + Wellness and the brains behind the business. She has her hand in every area of the company…from product creation to supply chain solution to online marketing. When she’s not looking at spreadsheets she’s mom to Mason, Posey, and Golden. Her kids inspire her to run a company that values community over competition and people before profit.

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